Off the Grid

After a year of being cable free, Matt just purchased us a satellite to pick up digital channels.  We get about 15 channels with fairly decent reception.  I was SO looking forward to being able to watch some morning news and evening television.  Plus, I just sometimes miss the background noise.  But, I do not miss the cable bill.  No way!  We've saved $1200 this year just getting rid of junk television! Victory over Cox Cable!

So, that being said, I'm not sure how I feel now.  Since we hooked it up, Matt and I just look at each other and say "Do you just want to turn it off?  It's kind of annoying!" Ha!  I almost forgot how deafeningly obnoxious commercials and reality TV had become.

Let me put it this way.  Let's pretend I am an alien from outer space.  (not too far from the truth you say? you might be right...but no jokes)  I have come to learn about the human race.  My one tool I am studying is television.  I am drawing assumptions about humans based on what is playing on NBC, ABC, FOX, etc..  Let me give you my best alien perspective:

1.  All males on planet Earth need erectile dysfunction medicine.  It is a widespread disorder.  It greatly offends females and they promptly call their doctors to help prescribe meds for their husband or "lover".

2.  All humans lease a new car every 6 months.  If they fail to do so, great pain and embarrassment will befall them.

3.  Everything must smell good.  Women enjoy spraying all corners of their homes with fragrant mists.  Their husbands and pets are so smelly, they must wage a constant battle against the stinks.  Pity them.

4.  The Casey Anthony Murder Trial is beloved by all humans.  They yearn for every ugly detail and watch with baited breath as the case unfolds.  A child is dead.  But they long for more.

5.  Humans are fat.  Really fat.  They take medicine to not be fat.  They become depressed because they are fat.  They take medicine to not be depressed.  They cannot sleep because they are so depressed.  They take medicine so they can sleep.  They still feel no better.  So, they order a pizza.

I have to stop here.  Trust me, I can go on.  But, for the sake of optimism, I won't.

For now, the satellite to the outside world will stay.  But, the confused alien in me wants to run.  I want to live off the grid somewhere.  Somewhere where the nightly news doesn't rack me with anxiety and I can live simply and purely.

It sounds better every day....