Part II
One of the basic principles that Dave Ramsey talks about in Financial Peace University is how to work with your partner or spouse. Money fights are a major source of divorce, and I have no desire for it drive a wedge in my own relationship. Remember that saying, opposites attract?
No, I'm not just talking about Paula Abdul here...however I do love that oldie but goodie.
I'm talking about how if you marry your opposite, you will have different ways of processing and communicating. No surprise there. It can cause major upsets in the home and budgeting realm if you let it. OR if you don't recognize the differences and embrace them as strengths.
Ramsey talks about how many couples are made of up a Nerd and a Free Spirit.
Enter Nerd
(Finding the perfect apple.)
My husband is a numbers guy. He's scientific, linear, and sees most things in black and white. He's a problem-solver, and thankfully, extremely patient with me.
Enter Free-Spirit
(Being a goon at The Louvre.)
I tend to be more go-with-the-flow. I focus on the possibilities instead of the answers. The heart rules and I'd rather spend my time talking and emoting than arguing facts. Like I said, he's patient!
The Meeting of the Minds
During FPU, we learned how to hold monthly budget meetings. We set up a plan for the month before it started and began communicating about who was going to get paid and when. It forced us to carve out time solely for talking about finances. Using the Ramsey budget software and cash flow sheets gave us common ground.
We knew the plan and what our own expectations would be. He forgave my inability to focus for longer than ten minutes. I forgave his obsession with never rounding up. We had lots of "emergency budget meetings" in the beginning. We had never paid that much attention before to every dime in our accounts, and it was a real chore at first.
(Leave the budget (and baby) at home from time to time.)
Valuable Lessons
I find that having a good bottle of wine helps during these meetings.
Talk when you're not too tired or stressed.
Know what you are willing to compromise on before the meeting.
Give yourself grace to make mistakes.
Write in pencil.
Walk away if your meeting takes longer than 30 minutes.
You can always do better next month.
Consider budgeting every paycheck instead of every month.
Budget for wine.
Next time I'll talk about our life on a real budget, cash envelopes, and the "zero budget" principle that works for us. Check back soon!
