A First

There are a great deal of firsts that I still experience as a teacher in her 3rd year.  Some of them are lovely and gracious, and make me tap dance out of the building at the end of the day.  Others make me so furious and broken, that I come home and snuggle up with a box of cheese crackers.  Those days are few and far between, both wild ends of the spectrum.  

I've been tossed another first, and this one is proving tougher than anything I imagined.  A student, who struggles with so many other learning, social, and emotional obstacles, has been diagnosed with a very serious medical condition.  She will be missing a great deal of school over the next 6 weeks while receiving treatment.  So, now, I am internally berating myself for ever feeling frustrated or annoyed by this child.  We have been told to keep her day to day as normal as possible, but she has not been told about her illness yet. I am so conflicted about this, and I almost think she would be stronger and healthier if her parents told her.  But, I understand the need to shelter your children and keep it on a needs to know basis.  She was absent yesterday, and returned today with a joyful face and spunky attitude.  Many of my students are affectionate, and she was all hugs this afternoon.  It was all I could do to peal myself away to grab some lunch during my planning block.  Her goofy nature was all the more endearing today, when I consider the struggles her young body and mind will have to endure over the next few months.

My heart swells when I think about how blessed I am to have my loved ones healthy.  It makes me check my own list of personal complaints, which seem so trivial.  Erin, you have curly hair, it will always be frizzy.  Step back.  Take in the big picture.  You are blessed.  

That word. Blessed.  I'm not a religious person, I don't categorize or label what I believe.  But, that word, I completely believe in.  

I hope she is blessed.